Christmas Means Carnage!

It's December. There are only two weekends until Christmas.

Welcome to the Season of Carnage.

There is something about December; the heat maybe, but most likely the impending occasion of mass consumer frenzy that is the Western holiday of Christmas.

At some point last Thursday, the little switch in most Sydney-siders head's went from the usually setting of 'MAD' to 'TOTALLY FUCKING INSANE'.

Twice on Sunday while driving, I had to swerve or brake hard to avoid head-on collisions with 4WDs (of course!) who had become impatient with waiting and simply decided to cross the median strip and drive on the wrong side of the road for a bit.

I also missed the ads on TV that said it is now illegal to drive at, or slightly above the speed limit; apparently you must now drive at least 20kph over it, and are allowed to tailgate, and use horns and lights on people in red Pulsars who might be trying to obey the road rules.

Mercifully, the Rhodes shops were amazingly quiet for a pre-Christ-It's-A-Mess Sunday afternoon, and I even treated myself to a dozen Pacific Oysters for dinner! Yum!

Meanwhile, (warning politcal statement approaches) the whole fucking country just goes American by declaring that Our Kulcha is The Best, and everyone else should behave like we say they should. Not many Australians held candlelight vigils outside the US embassies last week; though Singapore copped it for some irrational reason. I haven't heard any cries of protest over Gary Glitter's possible death sentence. (ah, but his crime wasn't cool); Singapore copped a ribbing though. No-one seems to be saying 'No, let Amrosi live."; Australians in Singapore are All Innocent Little Lambs wot never dun nuffin ever, well not much anyways. Our Glorius Leaders In Supreme Government From Whom All Wisdom Flows don't seem to be asking the UN courts to perhaps help in freeing David Hicks, held without trial for some years now; while someone arrested, charged, found guilty and tried under appropriate laws causes a fairly major internation incident (with Singapore). Ah, I forgot, we do whatever the US says, and thus it follows Asia should do whatever WE say, due to Australia being such a highly esteemed paragon of virtue, human rights, and being so gosh-darned-yankee-doodle-dandy-dixie-right-thinking-Christian-WHITEFOLK. Sorry, my bad.

As for drugs - of course trafficing illegal drugs is not so bad, after all, it keeps the vast majority of our society entertained. Recent events in East Jo'berg (s'nives) are a beautiful example: "Won-der-ful do, daaaahling, though we seem to be out of ice! Just give my dealer a call, quick-dial 3 on my mobe.." Within 5 mins, the chavs in their mini-boom-car turn up, but as luck would have it, the punter out the front is not the right one (who is most likely still inside trying to snort kitty litter). "ere's yer crys, mate" "what?" "yer crys, youse owes urs er gorilla" "fuck off, I'm just having a ciggie" stab stab stab stab, vroooooom.... The thing is, the media (to whom it actually happened, ah, the ironicalnessness of it all) are acting totally shocked and dumbfounded "how could someone do this? these two yoofs just drove up and suddenly stabbed him!" yep, right. Just like that. Just drove up. *shakes head* ah, not like my day, the kids had respect, and in s'nives too, who would have thought...

What can I say about s'nives.. hmmm.. ah! Melissa up the road really did the whole 'I have cerm to cleen zee puul' thing. SLUT! I never did get to say that to her face, but one day I might get the chance. Her rationalle was that if the gender roles were reversed any guy would do the same. Well, I know of *one* person who might, but only if he had a few jars under the belt. Sober he is quite rational. As it turned out she is/was/became a lesbian; the career advancement was better.

What a rant. From Sydney Summer Sans Sanity to deep personal crises I still can't deal with.

I love December.

By the way, the warning sign is from the normally-sane BOM. Maybe these are new signs for all beaches and waterfronts, to go alongside the signs warning of the dangers of hot sand.