Christmas Means Carnage!

It's December. There are only two weekends until Christmas.

Welcome to the Season of Carnage.

There is something about December; the heat maybe, but most likely the impending occasion of mass consumer frenzy that is the Western holiday of Christmas.

At some point last Thursday, the little switch in most Sydney-siders head's went from the usually setting of 'MAD' to 'TOTALLY FUCKING INSANE'.

Twice on Sunday while driving, I had to swerve or brake hard to avoid head-on collisions with 4WDs (of course!) who had become impatient with waiting and simply decided to cross the median strip and drive on the wrong side of the road for a bit.

I also missed the ads on TV that said it is now illegal to drive at, or slightly above the speed limit; apparently you must now drive at least 20kph over it, and are allowed to tailgate, and use horns and lights on people in red Pulsars who might be trying to obey the road rules.

Mercifully, the Rhodes shops were amazingly quiet for a pre-Christ-It's-A-Mess Sunday afternoon, and I even treated myself to a dozen Pacific Oysters for dinner! Yum!

Meanwhile, (warning politcal statement approaches) the whole fucking country just goes American by declaring that Our Kulcha is The Best, and everyone else should behave like we say they should. Not many Australians held candlelight vigils outside the US embassies last week; though Singapore copped it for some irrational reason. I haven't heard any cries of protest over Gary Glitter's possible death sentence. (ah, but his crime wasn't cool); Singapore copped a ribbing though. No-one seems to be saying 'No, let Amrosi live."; Australians in Singapore are All Innocent Little Lambs wot never dun nuffin ever, well not much anyways. Our Glorius Leaders In Supreme Government From Whom All Wisdom Flows don't seem to be asking the UN courts to perhaps help in freeing David Hicks, held without trial for some years now; while someone arrested, charged, found guilty and tried under appropriate laws causes a fairly major internation incident (with Singapore). Ah, I forgot, we do whatever the US says, and thus it follows Asia should do whatever WE say, due to Australia being such a highly esteemed paragon of virtue, human rights, and being so gosh-darned-yankee-doodle-dandy-dixie-right-thinking-Christian-WHITEFOLK. Sorry, my bad.

As for drugs - of course trafficing illegal drugs is not so bad, after all, it keeps the vast majority of our society entertained. Recent events in East Jo'berg (s'nives) are a beautiful example: "Won-der-ful do, daaaahling, though we seem to be out of ice! Just give my dealer a call, quick-dial 3 on my mobe.." Within 5 mins, the chavs in their mini-boom-car turn up, but as luck would have it, the punter out the front is not the right one (who is most likely still inside trying to snort kitty litter). "ere's yer crys, mate" "what?" "yer crys, youse owes urs er gorilla" "fuck off, I'm just having a ciggie" stab stab stab stab, vroooooom.... The thing is, the media (to whom it actually happened, ah, the ironicalnessness of it all) are acting totally shocked and dumbfounded "how could someone do this? these two yoofs just drove up and suddenly stabbed him!" yep, right. Just like that. Just drove up. *shakes head* ah, not like my day, the kids had respect, and in s'nives too, who would have thought...

What can I say about s'nives.. hmmm.. ah! Melissa up the road really did the whole 'I have cerm to cleen zee puul' thing. SLUT! I never did get to say that to her face, but one day I might get the chance. Her rationalle was that if the gender roles were reversed any guy would do the same. Well, I know of *one* person who might, but only if he had a few jars under the belt. Sober he is quite rational. As it turned out she is/was/became a lesbian; the career advancement was better.

What a rant. From Sydney Summer Sans Sanity to deep personal crises I still can't deal with.

I love December.

By the way, the warning sign is from the normally-sane BOM. Maybe these are new signs for all beaches and waterfronts, to go alongside the signs warning of the dangers of hot sand.

Amarantine

Darn it, I discovered Enya first.

I first heard her music in probably 1986, on 2JJJ's Ambience with Arnold Frollows - tracks from 'The Frog Prince'. Her first track I remember hearing was 'Aldebaran' from 'The Celts' on the evening show with Tim Richie, back when 'The Sex Pistols' could be followed immediately by some guy called 'Mozart'. That was in 1987. I liked the song so much I phoned up to ask what it was, and where I could get the album. Import. It cost me $45 (a lot at the time) and I am glad I have it, as the vinyl is so different to the CDs of today. The 20-something Enya on the front was also pretty cute.

Her next album (everyone called it her 'first'. heathens.) was rather good featuring 'Orinoco Flow', her first big hit. I had that album (another import) by Christmas 1988, though the album is listed as 1989. In 2JJJ's Hot 100 of 1989, Enya came in at #48 with Orinoco Flow. (Other notables were the B52s at #14 with Rock Lobster and #2 H&C's Throw Your Arms Around Me; which should be one of the songs Australians should sing at football matches. I laugh at the 'alternative' 2JJJ of today)

By the end of 1989 I was at uni and had an email address: uXXXXXXX@arch.unsw.oz.au, and discovered newsgroups - What We Did Before The Web. (By the way, check the wierd email - yep, pre .edu.au, and the .au was only recent. We were .oz before that). The following is one of the rare newsgroup listings from 1992 still in existence:

Date: Mon, 4 May 92
From: uXXXXXXX@arch.unsw.oz.au (name deleted)

I agree about the water/air/fire.. sequence in Enya`s albums- Shepherd Moons is very much an `air` album, just as Watermark was `water`.

The question is, will the next album be `fire`? And does anyone think the The Celts is the `earth` album? I always get images of stone circles and foggy moors when listening to that album...

The page this was from is notable for having intelligent dicussion with no spam. Two impossibilities these days. For further enjoyment the other two surviving emails are here and here. Wow, what an embarrassing sig file! The second message is amusing given the subject and sender!

YES! Anyway, I have always loved Enya's music, but sometimes I don't quite connect with it as much as I would like. 'The Memory of Trees' was an album of hers I didn't quite enjoy as much as the previous ones. I absolutely loved 'A Day Without Rain'; I thought it was brilliant. I missed 'Paint The Sky With Stars' and the LoTR albums, as I either had all the songs on them, or didn't care much for the new songs. Does this make me a bad fan? I also dislike the videos, partly because film of Enya singing is a bit meaningless - she is three people for a start, and filming someone layering 400 tracks is not interesting to some people.

Her new album is taking a while to grow on me. The Celts, Watermark, A Day Without Rain - all of these albums I loved on first listen. Maybe I haven't been in the mood for Amarantine yet. My mood around this time of year tends towards Charlie Chan's 'Adventures of...' and 'Songs of Distant Earth' by *cringe* Mike Oldfield *cringe*. Lately, Kate Bush's new album was one of those first-time favourites. Miles Davis and Bill Evans also get a playing, as does k.d. lang. 'A Day Without Rain' got hijacked and played to death after certain events of 2001, so I don't listen to it as much as I used to.

I can't work out Amarantine. I love the concept of Enya doing some Japanese songs, but it sounds like an ad; the song was made for an ad originally. For me this is like Van Gogh painting ads for Nike. (OK, let's not mention Salvador Dali and Chupa Chups. Anyway, they're Spanish and hardly an evil globalist child-slavery supporter. I hope) It's just wrong. Like when a soap company butchered Clannad's "Harry's Game"; performing the musical equivalent of spray-painting Coke logos on the Sistene Chappel ceiling. (Note to advertisers - I said 'soap company', not the advertising fuckwits who actually did it. I remember the soap company though, and will never buy their products. There is such a thing as anti-advertising you know.)

The track about rain is ok, and there is a dancey sort of track (though not as good as 'Flora's Secret' from ADWR). I can't remember the last couple of tracks - I have fallen asleep during them. Not actually a good sign, though it may be. Hard to tell.

I feel like I am being unfaithful, and am confused as to whether being critical counts as unfaithful. I want to like this album... but I am neutral towards it.

Do some more Japanese songs, Enya; but no more ads.

I tried to get a link to the album cover, but you can't link to the images; so, no images of my favourite singer. Welcome to the Future(tm). >:-( (angry frowny)

FISH!

Fish indeed.

I made steamed fish last night; blue-eye cod, steamed with garlic, ginger, coriander, chilli spring onion and lime. I had steamed bokchoy with it. Yum.

So it was only natural that I had dreams last night & this morning.

We were in a war. Us. Yeah, like that.

Australia was at war with... well... everyone. The USA held a lot, with France fighting hard against them. Both sides were pretty keen on eliminating all Australians. My surname meant I could pass as French though, which helped. John Howard was on radio telling all Australians to surrender to the Americans - to "honour the Agreement" and we would be treated fairly. That meant being shot on the spot. The Government survived though, and you could also be kept alive if you dobbed in at least 5 other people. Children were worth 2 adults.

This sounds like a nightmare, but wasn't; everyone had voted for it. Most parents were turning in their own children. My mum & dad had got away - I don't know where to. My brother was really angry at our betrayal by the Government "after all the work I did for you".

I got together with a few others - Bear, Syn, Bear's borther & family, my brother, and our friend from Canberra and his family. We all decided we could survive if we went bush for a bit. Out near Yass we got caught behind French tanks in a fairly big battle. The tanks were like the ones in Tron. They were getting hammered by US artillery though. The odd thing was each tank had hundreds of SAM and anti-helicopter micro-missiles, so thankfully we weren't being slaughtered by helicopter gunships.

Then the tanks went away, and I was on my own beside a concrete highway barrier. I was playing dead as The American General was searching bodies. He noticed I was alive, but worthless, so left me as a hindrance to the enemy. There was a young girl (maybe 12?) I was trying to protect her, as she had a broken leg. The General said she was useless, so he told her that he wanted to rape her, but she wouldn't be any fun. So he shot her in the head, but it didn't kill her as his gun malfunctioned. He fixed it with rubber bands (I watched this - it was important), then shot her again, killing her this time. I managed to then escape back behind French lines.

Then we (yep, multiple again) were on a wide plane that was also a forest, but with no trees. There was a massive air battle going on way overhead - hundreds of contrails. Pieces of aircraft were falling all around. B-52s were being used as fighters; in other words there was little sense to the battle, it was just destruction for destruction's sake. Then the Americans used an airburst nuke. I said "Oh, great, now everyone will use them" and they did. They used it because they couldn't win, but wanted to make sure no-one else would.

We hid; somewhere like Tamworth, maybe Coonabarrabran.

We hid in a carpark that was also in Hornsby - the old Westfield one before they knocked it down.

We all survived, due to the rubber band trick, and actually lived pretty well. Everyone else was dead; those that survived didn't bother each other. We hid when others came by, and made sure our house looked un-lived-in. There was a woman there who liked me. I don't know her - she had longish hair and freckles. I am pretty sure she was the one I was trying to protect earlier, but older now, and less murdered.

Despite all the battles and death, this actually wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't good as such (bits were) but it wasn't nasty.

Strange one. Other than the continuing collapse of Australian culture (hah!) and civilisation (hah!) at the hands of a democratically elected neo-nazi dictator, opposed by a bunch of spineless jerks who should be the first, er, second against the wall when the Revolution comes, I have no idea what caused this dream.

More news as it comes to hand.

Gataca here we come!

Yay! Australia leads the world again!

In yet another bold move towards Our Glorius Leader Howard's grand vision of an Australian Fourth Reich, the ABC runs a story about genetic discrimination. Wonderful!

Through technology unavailable to previous regimes, the Australian Authorities can now use your genome against you. Genetic predisposition to: terrorism? Voting labour? Supporting Kyoto? It's all just a matter of time...

Oh, and since Friday, it is probably now a crime for me to write this; and a crime for you to read it! Seeing as Australia is a good little Echelon lap-dog, we should all be expecting a visit from the anti-throughtcrime State Terrorism Anti-Sedition Investigators. Or maybe the Government Executive Surveillance Taskforce Against Possible Offenders. Either way, we now have a legislated STASI or GESTAPO.

Aussie-aussie-aussie! Heil-heil-heil!

Yay! Australia! Yay! Howard! Making the world safer for rich white people!

Losing Control

Sometimes you see things that for some reason stab you right through the heart/head/soul.

You Are A: Frog!

Independent yet still part of a large community, frogs are unique creatures known for their distinctive sound and ability to hop. As a frog, you spend your days sitting on lily pads or climbing trees, searching for delicious insects to eat. While there are some frogs that aren't exactly cute, you are certainly not one of those!

You were almost a: Monkey or a Mouse
You are least like a: Pony or a BunnyCute Animal Test!

Hrrrmmph. This makes me feel worse, if that's possible. Why? Because my most recent crush liked frogs, dammit, that's why! LIFE'S NOT FAIR. I worked that out long ago, I just HATE being reminded of it ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I wish this was a dream

Picture this:

Kids don't use schoolbooks anymore. They all use laptops. The laptops are all wifi-enabled, and any texbooks they need are downloaded as PDFs. The firewalls they have installed have lots of filters, that protect the kiddies from inappropriate material.

Like:

• rude pictures
• some more embarrassing moments of history
• some more interesting current events
• incorrect religions
• inappropriate philosphies and politics
• anonymous chatting
• encrypted transfer to non-approved sources

Hitler would have loved this stuff! We are lucky that it is just the realm of fantasy...

...oh. No, it isn't.

This sounds like part of some great Conspiracy, but it is actually the simple concept of ClusterFuck. ClusterFuck(tm) is the means by which most things happen in this world. Most organised events are just a fuck-up, and they tend to cluster. Also, most if not all, politicians are either fuck-heads, fucked-up, fuckers, fuckees or fuckwits; and they most certainly cluster.

Anti-globalists et al seem to beleive there is a great THEY to fight; that there really is a little room from which the world is run by immortal clones of Hitler, J Edger Hoover, Stalin and Walt Disney. Though that would explain a lot, I don't think there is such a place. This is more like fighting a virus or cancer. Somehow, the human immune system has not developed a defense against economics. Or perhaps we have evolved a defense, but that it is self-destruction; like sick whales beaching themselves.

The dark part of me wants that to be true; it wants the terroists to actually use nukes. Set the world off into paroxsymal conflict. End It All. Forget the judgment of God, there is no such thing. There is only an expanding universe, destined to be cold, dark and empty.

Us humans ruined our chance; the quicker we get to oblivion the better.

I would apologise about being in a bad mood, but today I don't care.

Addendum:

The weekend invloved some astonishing food, and a Gamez Daze. Yesterday was largely... void. And hot. When I feel better I will enthuse about the food, and ask where all the good games went. Apart from BF1942 and NeverwinterNights

Addendum 2:

I really like the picture of Tripitaka below. It is cute. Another 3rd party on Friday said I needed a Japanese girlfriend, that makes two.

MONKEY!

I don't remember many of my dreams these days. It takes plenty of fish, cheese & salami to give me the dreams I used to take fo granted. Oh well.

I guess it was due to the very yummy fish I had on Sunday night with Bear and Suyin that I had a decent dream last night. It was pretty good, though I have forgotten most of it.

I also dreamt on Sunday night, but that one was nasty (as most of my dreams now are) invloving ripping my new jeans; in fact the blue pair just fell apart, and I also lost my bicycle. Annoying, as I don't own a bicycle. And I got lost. In the rain.

Anyway, in the dream last night I was in a marketplace. I would like to say it was somewhere exotic, like Thailand, but it wasn't, it was just in Jeamland. There was a great stall selling T-shirts, run by Monkey, Tripitaka, Pigsy, Sandy and Horse. This is more like my kind of dream! It was great to finally meet them in person (as such). Pigsy was both Pigsys - he kept changing when I looked at him (a sure sign of dreaming). Masako Natsume (Tripitaka) was delightful; it is always wonderful to meet actual residents of Jeamland (Masako passed away on 11 September 1985 - suspiciously very close to 20 years to my dream. I did know that she had passed away, but I thought it was around 1982, and I did not know the date. My subconcious might have, of course). Anyway, they were selling T-shirts of the Monkey series, rather good ones. Black with the faces of the cast on the front with Monkey written over the top in red in English and Chinese. On the back was a rock-style 'tour dates' list with places like 'India' and 'Nepal' written again in red in both English and Chinese. I bought 3 shirts in slightly different styles. I had a chat about whether I was more like Pigsy or Sandy; sadly I have very little Monkey or Horse. Masako (at this point blending between Tripitaka, Masako Natsume and my friend Masako in Tokyo in that confused-but-not Jeamland way) noted that I should perhaps try to be more like Tripitaka (message in dreams? for people outside my head this is like a giant neon sign). Well, yes, of course.

The dream ended, with the usual I-have-a-really-great-idea-for-a-story; which I forgot just after I had a shower. Good ideas are very, very fragile. Going to my clothes rack, I though I would wear one of those Monkey t-shirts today... gah! I hate that. My term for that is 'ripping dream' as it feels like I have torn something in my head when I discover reality and dream are not the same. I actually usually feel a bit dizzy & nauseous when it happens too, I expect an EEG trace would show some nasty spike or other. Probably something going all quantum.

This was my first decent dream for while that didn't involve nastiness like the 'Lizard-eating-me-alive' nastydream of September 1996, where I woke to the echo of a scream (mine); or many of the lost/missing/have-to-do-the-HSC-again-tomorrow dreams I have had recently. As I said, nasty.

Jeamland, for those who don't know it, is proposed and described in Michael Marshall Smith's superb novel 'Only Forward'. I have used that term ever since to describe the wierd quantum world of dreams, despite my internal cringing that I am appropriating somebody else's literary invention.

I sigh inwardly and repeat my 'Nothing-new-under-the-sun' mantra.

UFOs on Google Earth

Google Earth.

Terrific fun for plane spotters, and as it turns out, very embarrassing for the World Government that tries to cover up, well, pretty much everything.

Much has been made of the UFO spotted over Florida, fobbed off as a 'glitch' on the satelite, or water on the lens (yeah, right). Impressive as it is, it is still just a blob, and a fuzzy one at that. Unconvincing.

What we really need are good detail pictures of extra-terrestrial craft; like these ones, perhaps?

First off - a wide anle view of NASA's Dryden Research Base at Edwards, California.

Some observations: the giant compass rose? I don't think that is for humans! You can see this thing from orbit! The Shuttles land using carefully worked-out and computer-guided flightpaths, only UFOs would need 'visual' references this large for approach.

Now we zoom in a bit...

Wierd thing number two: that '747' visible near the '270' is the Shuttle carrier aircraft. As everyone knows, the Shuttle now lands at KFC, the Shuttle Carriers are not needed anymore, and were meant to be retired... so what it is doing still in use?

You can also see the Shuttle loading gantry - the red blob just above the carrier plane. You can also see something on the desert floor, away from everthing else...

Hmm, that's odd. A bizjet left out in the desert? With three small vehicles parked right next to it... surely the Men In Black couldn't be so stupid. But like all forces of darkness they always are!

Looking closer we see...

Oh my! Three small spacecraft! I guess there must have been a bit of mis-communication with the NSA and they forgot when the satelites were overhead. These must have been parked there for testing, or awaiting transfer in the Shuttle carrier to some other facility. The 'bizjet' nearby looks like a Gulfstream of some sort - capable of carrying about 8 people, so those spacecraft look to be at least 2-being capable. The 'tail' sections are obviously the propulsion system, and the overall shape is clearly designed for atmospheric entry at orbital velocities. These must be scout craft from some sort of larger carrier vehicle that remains in orbit. The planform is a bit too narrow for Earth's atmosphere, indicating these craft come from a denser atmosphere. There must be some rather sophisticated flight-control systems, most likely anti-grav, as these shapes are very unstable in our atmosphere.

Amazing that the 'hiding in plain sight' theory is easily evaded by public-access satelites! Hopefully they will make the announcement about our alien friends once this picture becomes more widespread!

Congratulations! You clicked on the 'Read more...' bit!

Well, the above is so full of shit it gurgles, although the photos are genuine.

The 'alien craft' are almost certainly some of the lifting-body craft developed at Dryden in the late 60s / early 70s. The top one in particular is almost certainly the X24B, the other two I am not so sure of, but I suspect one may be the legendary plywood-towed-behind-a-Chevy prototype. What exactly they are doing in the open is anyone's guess - I suspect a photo shoot - these things should be in the Smithsonian!

The UFO scare I am trying to create was inspired by a conversation yesterday prior to the weekend's 50% sucessful rocket launches. (Darn it, I lost a rather good rocket into a tree. Grr.)

I will try to find a few web forums full of idiots to post this to.

Indescribable

Can't wait to see this at Tetsuya!

MX Missive

Would you trust a newspaper with a website that looks like it came from Page 7 of "Frontpage for Dummies & Media Magnates"?

Last week I noticed that everyone on the train going home was reading what I took to be a new 'culture' & 'arts' (gossip & cross-promotion) section for the Financial Review.

It turns out this is in fact a new newspaper, owned by His Supreme Highness Rupert Murdoch. Aparently they rather neatly get around the whole issue of media ownership laws in Australia by giving it away free. We'll see how long that lasts; it is the same economic model used to bootstrap the very economically sustainable industries of cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, etc.

Anyway, I thought it was funny they called it MX - what does that mean? MiX without the i so they don't get sued by MixFM? Then I realised they *must* have named it after Ronald Reagan's highly sucessful MX missile program! Clearly, because of the similarities between ICBMs and newspapers.

Speaking of which...


This *incredibly scary* image is the first page of the now legendary 'National Missile Defense Coloring[sic] Book' which can be seen in here. This picture is just so EVIL. Syn might think HappyTreeFriends is evil, but a line-drawn Ronald Reagan scares the willies out of me! What the hell is he going to do with those TEETH? The site is well worth a visit - mostly because of the date on the colouring book: 1950? nope, Ronnie was playing with chimps then. 1970? Nope. 1980? Nope(!) 1990? NO! 2003! Yes, the 21st century. A mere two years ago! Why? WHY? Kids, can you say Exoatmospheric Kill Vehicle? This is great! They actually call what you and I might rationally call a 'warhead' or even more simply 'bomb', an 'exoatmospheric kill vehicle'. I love Newspeak! All resource units love Newspeak!

I have digressed; the point about MX is that being given away free, I am guessing they are using people to hand it out. Only guessing, because obviously people who use Meadowbank and King's Cross railway stations don't fit into the MX desired demographic. Anyway, I am guess that the hand-out people store these things nearby in stacks, much like the other pieces of bum-wad media such as '9-to-5' and 'Sydney Weekly'. Which brings me to thinking hmmmmm.... nice jamming oppurtunity that. A few insert pages prepared could really freak people out. Stories about iPod-induced 'brown note' incidents. Reviews of anti-pedestrian bull-bars for BWM and Mercedes 4WDs. Articles about banning bicycles due to 'insurance liability concerns'. Or if the have pages for 'vox-pop' journalism, maybe some bogus stories might fit in nicely.

Then again why bother? Jamming is nearly as bad is the media it seeks to jam - you can tell I have been re-reading 'Always Coming Home' by Ursula LeGuin, can't you?

So why not colour-in instead. Ah, Photoshop...

I call it "ZombieSith Emperor Ronald McRaygun".

Procrastination over.

Not quite:

For those disbeleivers, here is the Exoatmospheric Kill Vehicle; just so you know what one looks like.

The trouble with conscience

Bear & I occasionally get ideas.

We have on occasion noted the amazing tendency of people to beleive the most amazing crap is actually true. In particular, 'audiophiles'. The kind of people who pay serious money for blocks of wood to improve the 'spaciousness' of recorded music.

I just found this little gem:

"The TV-Rayex has been especially developed to reduce or eliminate the negative effects that the invisible and scientifically non-measurable rays emitted from the television screen and computer monitors have on our bodies."

Um, right. How do you measure the effects of invisible and scientifically non-measurable rays? For that matter, how do you know that they are invisible, if you can't measure them? After all, they might be visible, just not measurable.

The really big problem is that Bear & I have too much conscience to actually make stuff like this and sell it to gullible fools, no matter how much Lego & rockets we could buy with the proceeds.

As for the 'TV-Rayex', I am sure we could sell a product that "does everything the TV-Rayex does, AND MORE as it can be used in the car, under water, while fishing, and is safe on pets"

No false or misleading advertising there!

We have though about similar scams, er, SCHEMES with audio cables and connectors. Browsing through any newsagency reveals entire magazines full of this stuff, especially the audiophile gear. The new-ager magazines have pletny of the Rayex-type things too.

I think we shouldn't be so guilty about seperating idiots from their money - I mean look at the commercial TV channels, especially 9 - most of their ads and 'infotainment prograds' seem devoted entirely to that cause.

I guess we aren't good at realising our business potential by actualising new paradigms of market dynamics by empirical investigation of oppurtunity costs in relation to mitigating public perceptions of long-term risk management ideals, in an emergent digitally progressive lifestyle choice environment.

ROCKETS

As has been previousy reported, Bear and I have been teaching Matt & Connor (Bear's nephews, my pseudo-nephews) some important life skills. How to make, launch, and usually lose, rockets.

Bear has two launches on his site; now I have one!

Bear and Syn gave me a rocket for my birthday, an Estes Stardart. Quite a small, simple rocket, but critically, with a parachute. Bear favours streamers for recovery, while I have usually used parachutes. Parachutes can be a little more reliable in terms of getting the rocket back in one piece, but less reliable in terms of landing anywhere near the launch site.

A famous rocket of over 15 years ago was found about 1km from the launch site, after two teenage boys door-knocked half a suburb saying "Excuse me ma'am, may we search your backyard for a rocket? The rocket is not dangerous but the lizard on board might be." That was an Estes X-Ray, with a lizard on board as Australia's first astronaut. Actually probably astrosaur. Anyway, that rocket (and lizard) were found despite the parachute landing some distance away.

Anyway, on the June long weekend we decided to launch the Stardart. A very calm day was chosen, though it was very overcast which is always a bit risky - you can't see the rockets very well after lauch against a grey sky.

Be that as it may, we set up and launched! The following pictures are frames from the video recorded by Bear...Stardart ready for launch!
The igniter fires......triggering the main engine.Main engine burning, building up thrust......resulting in liftoff! Note the flame from the engine lighting up the fins.The rocket is accelerating straight up, still on the launch rod. The engine flame is very visible now and seems to be around 100mm long. I think the somewhat dark conditions helped to see the normally invisible flame.The vehicle has cleared the tower, and commemced it's completely uncontrolled yaw program, caused by a slight wind which wasn't there a few seconds ago.Tracking looses sight of the vehicle. This was pretty much the last we saw of it.

Lessons learned from this launch:

Lower-power B6-4 engines produce a somewhat more graceful launch. They have a lower overall impulse than the Cs Bear used, resulting in a few more pretty frames of video.

Don't launch against grey skies - you can never see the damn thing for more than about 10m from the ground.

The kit-built Stardart, while heavier than Bear's all-balsa rockets, is considerably more streamlined, with a smooth fuselage and long tapering nose. We suspect this rocket went at least as fast as Bear's C-powered ones, and went possibly higher than any of our previous rockets.

No wind at ground does not necessarily mean no wind aloft... once the parachute deployed this rocket was last seen heading towards Parramatta. A shame, as it was a pretty good rocket, and was quite intact.

Two sepearate search parties went far beyond The Planet Of The Spiders to try to find the Stardart, but to no avail. Both search parties also saw no signs of police, ambulance, fire brigade or military activities, which is something you DON'T want to see after loosing a rocket.

Well, it's raining again, so no rockets this weekend. There are these two leftover B6-4 engines on my desk though... let's see what I can build...

BBC now arm of the New Right-Wing Fascist Scum

Let's get one thing clear: Western civilisation is dying.

Choking on it's own shit might be a better description. Shit floats, and it is heads full of shit that sit on the shoulders of the leaders of the United States of Fucking Retards America, the United Kingdom of US-Lap-Dog, and the wonderful Commonwealth of Australian Yes-Men With Their Heads So Far Up Bush's Ass They Brush His Teeth.

I am ANGRY, in case you haven't noticed.

Why?

Well, the BBC is closing down their 'Cult' website. For financial reasons. More likely for 'hey, here's another way for all us Boomers to crap all over our ill-begotten hell-spawn-children-who-we-only-gave-birth-to-because-we-were-stoned-and-forgot to-take-the-pill-that-week-and-they-cost-as-much-as-a-Range-Rover-to-put-through-school 70's kids' reasons.

* pause to take breath *

Here is what I wrote to the BBC:

FUCK

Well, what I really wrote would be here if I hadn't cut-and-pasted something else. Shit. I hate that.

The point was that for quite a lot of us, the Cult TV from the 70's and early 80's actually has quite a bit of cultural meaning, mainly because it's what our Boomer parents used instead of babysitters or social activity. Admittedly because during the dawn of the grand New Economy SEIG HEIL SEIG HEIL SEIG HEIL HEIL HOWARD HEIL HOWARD sorry, got carried away there, they had to work their asses off to scratch a living, rather than actually spend time with their kids.

Note to the chef (me) - left-over veggie omlette should NOT be made with blue cheese, and should NOT be eaten in conjunction with gin-and-tonics.

I think I will go shoot things now.

Headclean - OR - The Wonders of Sleep Deprivation

Try this:

Deprive yourself of deep sleep. Repeat for nearly 3 years.

Be amazed at the total collapse of your well-being and mental health.

Having just found an interesting way of getting some sleep (moving to a quieter suburb, to a flat that actually gets natural light) I am rather shocked to find that my rather poor mental state of the past few years was certainly not helped by moving to a dark and noisy flat. Sure I was stressed a bit before I moved there, but not long after moving I suffered a fairly nasty nervous breakdown (it sounds better than 'psychotic break' but not by much). At the time I remember telling people that the new flat was a bit noisy and dark, and that worried me a bit...

Having moved somewhere quiter, lighter and all to myself, I am feeling much, much better. I have also started to discover there are friends I haven't spoken to for nearly 3 years now, which is Not Good. All that will be rectified, much fun will be had by all.

And this thingy is likely to get wierder as a result. You have been warned.

On the Meaning of Life

Syn posted an intriguing piece a day or two ago.

Go and read it.

See? Neat.

People used to do this all the time.

Walkabout. Sabatical. Sweat-hut. Vision quest. Djemma. Peregrination. Hadj. Pilgrimage.

Restoring of the spirit by going somewhere; largely only for the sake of going.

Us modern people are above all that; we have road movies and anti-depressants.

I don't think Syn is being ridiculous; she DOES have something to complain about!

For some of us, our soul/spirit/totem/whatever has started to discover that modern ciivilization leaves a lot missing. We feel lacking of center, balance, harmony. The others who haven't had this feeling really scare me.

Syn lives with one of the most centered people I know - to say Bear is down-to-earth is almost tautology, he is the very definition of it, and I greatly admire him for it. I think perhaps this has a lot to do with Bear's "Nope, no adults here" view of life.

Having spent most of last night at work (security guard? no. surgeon? no. astronomer? I wish. architect.) I could really do with a hadj-TARDIS. Though Syn's idea that it takes life off the end means I wouldn't have much left. We would have to pay for it somehow though, otherwise the universe would become unbalanced.

I remember reading somewhere (Red Dwarf rings a bell...) that someone beleived that somewhere in the Multiverse a civilization had developed a method of translocating all their shit, fears, sadness, anxiety, and just all general bad juju onto us humans, a lot like the way we just flush the toilet or throw out the garbage. Which is a scary though, maybe it is actually us doing it to ourselves? That's pretty much how market-driven western "democracies" are run - if you have plenty of money you can pay people to take shit for you; if you don't, you get shit.

The previous paragraph is a classic case of Newtonian thinking, I just noticed. Action-reaction. Cause-effect. These days it seems that the Multiverse might not actually run that way; it is likely to be somewhat more 'quantum' than what we perceive. Schrodinger's Cat might not just be alive, it might also be a frog. Follow this line of thinking and you quickly end up with a God/Gods. Stephen Hawking called this 'knowing the mind of God', which I think most people interpret as meaning omniscient/omnipotent. I wonder if he meant "knowing your center", "being at peace with one's self and the Multiverse". Yuck. That all sounds terribly New-Age, but there you go. Dammit, I'm an architect, not a poet. (Syn however might be - "scrambled eggs from the chicken of life" is sheer genius. I keep trying to think of what the Chicken of Life would look like. Large. Round. Feathered.) That other great philosopher of our time, Buckaroo Banzai put it so perfectly: "No matter where you go... there you are."

I feel somewhat comforted to get this rather random train of thought down into bits, though I wish I cold type as fast as I think. My thinks are usually long gone before I have a chance to get near pen, paper or keyboard.

Ok, everyone, back on your heads.

What Was Meant To Be (or, My Head's Leaking)

Sometimes this happens:

I get an idea.

For a few mintues it totally engages me; it is a damn good idea, it means something and it is important.

By the time work finishes / I wake up / I get near a pen and paper it is gone, vanished, and no ammount of wishing brings it back. It's like the tune of a wonderful song that you can't remember only 30 seconds after you have heard it.

Then I see the idea in someone else's article / blog / tv show / film, and I wonder if I had seen it subliminally, or I told someone about it, or that I am not very original.

Well, it has happened again.

I have a few PS2 games that I bought because they seemed so arty, let alone fun. ICO is one of them - a surreal Japanese adventure game. Rez is another - trippy visuallised musical arcade floaty-trance thingy. A third is Fluid - (PS One) using a dolphin swimming through wierd oceans to make music.

So as my mind wanders further from my job & career during the day, a Google for Rez & ICO finds this.

Which is something that has been running around my head for quite some time - gamez are art, people haven't realised it yet. Games like Torment and Final Fantasy 7 or 11 are going to be the Van Goghs and Monets of the next century, because of how they stepped away from what people accepted as art. There, you can see how badly I express my ideas, which is why most stay locked away.

I have no idea how to reconcile what I have just typed with me being a professional registered architect.

Well, this explains *a lot*

You were born under the Faz Arc, during the Hierarchy Cycle, Year of the Zoq, the Fot, and the Pik

"ZoqFotPik love comfort and luxury. They are quite content to let life pass them by just as long as they can wallow in their favourite place, decorated with the impeccable taste that ZoqFotPik are born with. In fact, most of the ZoqFotPik life is taken up with working as hard as possible to attain that very goal. They are not afraid of the hardships of life that are necessary to win the security and comfort they desire.

As they desire that security so much, they tend to become obssessed with its trappings. ZoqFotPik enjoy good food to an almost unhealthy state, and their lavishness when spending on creature comforts can be frightening to watch.

ZoqFotPik also tend to be very honest. Some might even say blunt. This comes from their desire for knowledge. ZoqFotPik adore gathering information and wisdom from any source, and have a deep love of culture.

Inside every ZoqFotPik are three voices, all warring with each other. One represents the giving nature of the ZoqFotPik, and also the taciturnity with which he or she deals with life. One represents the materialism and love of knowledge and culture. The last represents the honesty of the ZoqFotPik, but also the anger and wrath. For ZoqFotPik, despite their inbuilt dislike for anything uncivilised or illegal, can have a fiery wrath unlike anything before seen.

Essentially ZoqFotPik are honest gluttons who will work hard for a comfortable life.

ZoqFotPik tend to get on very well with Earthlings, except for their aggressiveness. Slylandro and Pkunk can provide great companions as well. Avoid Supox as their boastful nature doesn't go down well with you."

I would also think avoiding Ur-Quan and Kohr-Ah would probably also be a good idea.

My 'Inner Sign'? What else but:

Orz.

"There's something a little strange about Orz. They can be at times all fire and bursting with motion, and then the next, they are calm and sensual. Whichever they are at any one moment, Orz are warm people, and tend to be friendly and open in any circumstance.

Orz love beauty and art. They are usually skilled with their hands, and they are good with money. er, good at spending it I assume In this sense, they are materialistic, but the materials they hoard and covet are the finest that can be found. Orz are seduced by the beautiful, be it music, sculpture, or the opposite sex. Orz love the good life, and once they find somewhere good to sit and smell the roses, they'll do whatever it takes to stay there.

Sudden change is one thing Orz are not very good at coping with. They like to do things in their own time, or to have things ready at just the right moment. Their natural intractability and stubborn attitude makes them good at adjusting to routine - making them great shift workers - but atrocious at handling immediate flexibility.

Despite their obvious earthy nature, Orz tend to be quite intelligent, and rely on their brains to get them out of difficulty. They respect wisdom and intelligent thought, and their grasp of practical logic is almost sublime. Yet, they still suffer from two of the seven deadly sins, for all their smarts. Jealousy and gluttony are monkeys Orz find it difficult to shake from their backs. They have great patience, but any hint of another's advantage at their loss and they begin suspecting everyone in their envy. And, with their love of beauty and the finer things, Orz tend to throw measure to the winds and gorge themselves on whatever it is they enjoy."

All of the above pieces are from Terrorpin's Star Control Astrology. This astonishing work actually combines Eastern & Western Astrology and links it into the wonderful universe of Star Control 2. StarCon2 is, on the surface, a simple game; play the full adventure and you discover it's true depth. Twelve individual alien races with discernable personalities provided the link into Astrology; it seems likely that astrology formed the basis for the game's conceptual design.

Launch Fighters!

More Dragons in the Sky

It seems to be the season for seeing dragons in the sky. Here are two having fun on Saturn, complete with sparkly-bally-thing.

What happens when you let pinheads run a country

Our Story:
For those who came in late, or at least aren't part of a certain F1 tipping competition, here is a little rant I spat out this morning, on hearing the official news that there will be an F1 car driving around the Harbour Bridge on Sunday morning, but due to a massive attack of beaurocracy, no-one will get to actually see it. Thank you, the litigious scum that make up most of Australia's popuation. Anyway, on with the rant before this turns into another...

For those in Sydney, we all get to sleep in Sunday morning thanks to typical Australian ingenuity and know-how. Or should that be no-how?

The bridge is closed for Mark Webber to drive his Williams across it, and you would expect the pedestrian walkway to be packed out, right? No. That's closed, because it is DANGEROUS. Mark's car will be limited to lightly touching the clutch in 1st gear - 90km/h, because it's DANGEROUS.

Anyone who has walked across the Bridge will have noticed that trucks seem to barrel across the Cahill at or around 90km/h? No-one closes the bridge because they are DANGEROUS, especially when over-loaded, poorly maintained and driven by gorillas smashed out of their skulls on effedrine. Not even the security guard would be able to help you there. There's a point - if the Bridge is closed to all people, that means the security guards won't be there! The Bridge is WIDE OPEN to TERROR ATTACKS! DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!
Some other mighty-pissed-off punter phoned the radio this morning to point out that a similar event in London took place through streets packed with spectators, seperated from these DANGEROUS machines by a rope. Not steel fences, rope. While Britain might be being run by a Government that is a tad screwed in the head, at least they aren't being run by LAWYERS.

Rant over, nothing to see here, these aren't the droids you are looking for, you can go about your business, move along, move along.

空气龙 - Or Silly Westerner Stares At Clouds

I saw three dragons on the way home today.

The first was from the bus, to the east over the harbour. It was large, probably a few kilometres long.

The second two were from Crows Nest, to the south-west and smaller and higher.

They were not the unwieldy Western dragons that religious figures kill to prove Mankind's mastery over nature and heathens; they were the graceful dancing dragons of the East. The first one was all by itself, without even the sparky-flaming ball thingy. The second two were flying together, having fun. I guess all three were having fun.

Not being an expert on such things, I think they were 空气龙 (or kongqi-long for those without Eastern fonts), which is my own translation and probably very wide of the mark.

Of course, they were clouds that looked a lot like dragons. It got me thinking though that I was most likely the only one to see them, due to the angles of late afternoon sunlight - they would have looked different from other directions - and the odds of other people staring aimlessly into the sky and trying to see shapes in clouds. I think these days, in Sydney, the odds of that are about 1 in 10^6 given a population of about 3x10^6 - I know of only two other people likely to do such frivolous things.

I would expect these days there are not lessons in lying on your back staring at clouds, unless it was to spot useful things like Share Transaction Statements, All-Wheel-Drive-Soft-Roaders, or the latest info on the property market. It's probably the kind of passtime that will get you labled as 'terrorist' or 'illegal foreigner', and likely to get you locked up and ignored or tortured for six months.

So from spotting dragons we get to the state of contemporary Sydney lifestyles.

Sydney - 2 : Corinoco - 1 (one point for seeing dragons)

The Cuddly Menace

The Cuddly Menace

We are under attack.

Be vigilant.

They are everywhere.

Tetsuya's - The Drawings

As mentioned, last weekend Syn, Bear & I had dinner at Tetsuya's on the occasion of Syn becoming older than she was on the previous day.

It was Syn's intention to take photos of the meal, but due to reluctance of Bear to photograph High Art, and my usual forgetfulness (brought on by my horribly shabby Pulsar's doors being opened by a squad of tuxedo-wearing ninjas) we didn't take photos of the meal. When we got home, we were however inspired to draw the meal. We didn't draw all the dishes, and I cannot remember the exact wording or ingredients of some of them either. The missing dish is Slow Roasted De-Boned Rack of Lamb with White Miso & Smoked Eggplant, which was our least favourite dish. Mind you, just this dish alone would still qualify as Top Nosh anywhere else; it was our least favourite of the ten courses.

The other missing dish is the Strawberry Shortcake Desert that you drink out of a shotglass.

Enough talk.

Hors d'oeuvres (bloody hell that was hard to spell check! Horse Devour? Thanks, Word!) The small ramekin contains truffle & cheese butter, composed of Tetsuya's Truffle Salsa; this is actually more addictive than crack cocaine. The small round thing with dots was a Blessed Caviar & Egg Sandwich Of Disproportionate Taste-To-Size Ratio +5.


Carpaccio of Beetroot with Tonburi & Caviar


Gazpacho with Spiced Tomato Sorbet, Tuna Sashimi and Something Else


Marinated NZ Scampi with Foie Gras & Walnut (I swooned with this one)


Confit of Petuna Tasmanian Ocean Trout with Konbu, Daikon & Rocket


Spatchcock on Soybeans (has a better name, which I have forgotten)


Ravioli of Lobster with Scallop and Tarragon Mousse, Tomato & Basil


Cherries, that I wouldn't normally eat but did this time because they were so yummy (again, I have forgotten the full name, and I don't usually eat cherries due to repressed trauma)


Chocolate Terrine with Mascarpone and Cognac Anglaise (we thought this was the strongest chocolate ever until the next dish turned up)


From L to R: World's Most Evil Chocolate Sorbet, some other sorbet cowering in fear, World's Most Chocolate Flourless Cake, a Candle for Suyin's Birthday (inedible)


The result - Bear managed to smuggle out some treaties for Kimi & Linus, making them now the Official World's Best-Fed Ratties. rumor has it they now demand truffles and M.Cluziel chocolate for dinner.



Verdict: So far the best meal I have eaten. Ever.
"You mean we're not dead?"
"Dead, Sir? No, Sir. Sir is most evidently alive, otherwise I would not attempt to serve Sir. If you would care to take drinks in the bar, and then I will accompany you to your table, and afterwards the Universe will explode for your pleasure."
"Wow, what sort of drinks do you serve here?"
"Ah, I think perhaps Sir has misunderstood me."
"Oh, I hope not!"

The drinks in question actually were Pan-Galactic-Gargle-Blasters, well at about $2,500 a bottle I hoped they were. Surprisingly though, the Universe did explode for our pleasure; shortly after tasting the Chocolate Sorbet.

Cricket Hurt / Tetsuya's Not Here

I played cricket today. I have never actually played in a organised game of cricket with proper equipment (like real cricket balls, and thus full pads, etc) in my life. I have seen plenty of them before though, so how hard could it be?

I have a new apppreciation for test level players who do this for five days. OK, well two-and-a-half days if they are Australian or facing Australia.


The other bit of news is that last week I had dinner at Tetsuya's; I was asked by Bear & Syn to celebrate Syn's most recent birthday. Lucky the cricket was a week after; it was a seriously good meal, and I really could only sit down on Sunday and wonder in awe at the lingering tastes.

Syn wanted to take photos os the meal; Bear was a bit wary of such an idea. I was neutral, so I brought my camera. Which we left in the car. As it turned out, the table next to us brought their camera and had their photos taken (most likely with big smiles on their faces) so it would not have been a problem. Anyway, when we got back to my place, we all drew pictures of the courses. I scanned them, and I was meant to put them on the web today, but I am too sore from cricket to do it. Only my fingers will move, and only enough to type this post.

Tetsuya's drawings tomorrow, I promise.

'Zero intelligence' trading closely mimics stock market

"A model that assumes stock market traders have zero intelligence has been found to mimic the behaviour of the London Stock Exchange very closely."

Yes, I know, this is ever-so-slightly out of context. I couldn't resist it though; it sums up my views of the so-called 'science' of Economics quite nicely. No wonder Astrology is so useful for predicting economics. I should also think chicken entrails, tossing coins, hacking off your feet with a blunt axe, and wearing business suits are all about as useful too.

No wonder I want to sell these people Audiophile-Grade Organic Vibration Differential Cross-Modulators!

Internet dating hits a dead end

TwinCities.com 06/30/2003 Part 4: Internet dating hits a dead end

Heh. This article dates from mid-2003, about a year after the last time I used an online dating service. Over 9 months on it at the time, I had ONE person show interest. We went out for a couple of months, but as soon as I mentioned the 'R'-word (Relationship) she declared she was a lesbian and vanished. I heard from her a few months later, she phoned up wanting to be 'friends', having now married a a rich German guy and bought a house in French's Forest.

Having just spent nearly $100 on joining a few dating sites a few few weeks ago (wow, they are expensive nowadays) and discovered that for about $5 a message you can expect NO replies, I typed 'internet dating is dead' into Google and the above article was the first hit.

I have a couple of theories:

1. Lie like a trooper. Especially about your height it seems. If like me you are cursed with being a male of less than 1.6m height, don't expect any matches. Ever. 90% of women want you to be 'between 5' 9" and 7' 11" ' which means you are most likely a basketballer or pace bowler.

2. The links without photos? Stooges. How can you use a dating service and expect anything without a photo? There simply cannot be that many people out there totally embarrassed by their looks. What is there to stop sites 'padding' their lists? A voluntary code of ethics? Considering they make money out of me every time I try to send a message, it would be worth their while to fake as many as possible. The maths involved is probably the same as poker-machine luring techniques, ie very well researched. It's easy enough to fake entries - it seems no-one replies to messages anyway, so how could you tell?

3. Do a search for women, then do the same search for men. About 20 links to women, about 200(!) links to men. Sorry, I thought the media said there were hordes of single women out there. Maybe they are all in the bars & pubs then. A shame I have given up alcohol, and Sydney pubs & bars have the music up so loud they make my ears bleed. I think it is a Legal(tm) requirement to stop people talking/thinking/conspiring against The Economy(tm).

4. Like the article says, include 'likes moonlight walks along the beach' - in Sydney? Right? I keep odd hours sometimes, and I do not see dizzy lovers out on moonlight walks! I mean, sure you can take it as read that I like moonlight walks along the beach - when I am in the Whitsunday Islands, or Thailand!. I thought people might be interested in more useful descriptions, such as "I like dolphins, Lego and chocolate, but not all at once." I suppose I should just join with the masses and say that I like "moonlight walks along the beach, sleeping in and a bit of a boogie on the dance floor". Truth in advertising - there is none.

Since I went to a bit of effort this time to even make sure my profiles were proof-read, this all adds up to being very depressing. I was pretty much truthful in my profiles, and now I feel I have revealed way too much - and that what I have revealed must be a huge turn-off. And I'm too short.

Self esteem? Yeah, I had some a while back...

HHGTTG: The Film

Fry hitches ride as Guide - Film - www.smh.com.au: "'like having your birthday on Christmas Day, discovering a winning lottery ticket in your stocking and having chocolate poured all over you'."

- Stephen Fry on being chosen as the Voice of The Guide

Medieval Italian Hill Fortress

Many people (well, actually one person) asked "what is a Medieval Italian Hill Fortress?"

The above picture provides the answer. When I think Palm Beach, I think Medieval Italian Hill Fortress!

The design is a work-in-progress, modelled in Autodesk (blerk! swut! turlingdrome! belgium!) Revit (Yay! Gotta love them corporate takeovers).

UK braces for black Monday 24th | The Register

At long last, someone belting the damn Black Dog over the nose with a good hard rolled-up slab of science.

Well, something close enough to science to appeal to me, anyway.

Great T-Shirt Slogans of 1989

SOGGY
BOYS
DON'T
CRY;
THEY
JUST
LIKE
WATER

Seen on T-shirt owned by Fiona Smith, 1st year Architecture UNSW 1989.

I am not sure why my memory dredged that up here and now, but I assume it must be relevant to something.

'Slayers' or Googling for Anime Dolphins

You are most like:
Deep Sea Dolphin



You have a mysterious nature that makes others distrust you. You also tend to be aclectic in nature, and possibly slighly missing some screws. You're passionate about some things, but retreat at others. You tend not to make friends easily, and others view you as odd.


Actually I am like something else from Slayers, and the text appears to written at Internet Standard Age Level* of 1.

What this does underline is the dearth of anime dolphins out there. Ok, yes there is Marine Boy, and there was a dolphin in Inspector Gadget once (but it does not count as anime. close though), but apart from that... nothing. You will find plenty of hamsters, cats & dogs a plenty, even lizards get a good airing. No dolphins though. Pity. They are a bit difficult to draw anime style, mainly due to their lack of frontal binocular vision - a crucial component of anime style drawing.

My answers did not result in that selection, but since I did a Google Image search for 'anime dolphins' that is what I got back. Link number one (shown below), the thought of which is terribly cute, does not count, they have to be real dolphins, not inflatable.



Bear's Brother, a notorious Slayers fan, may be able to explain all this.

Though on thinking about it, maybe not.

*I have just invented the Internet Standard Age Level. It is 12, as in 12-year-old. Thus an ISAL of 1 means written by twelve-year old (or appears to have been written by a twelve year old). I have an ISAL of 0.3529

New Jobs and Torment

I started my new job last week.

After 10 years of bouncing from job to job, getting either sacked for reporting a client to the Police for arson, or getting retrenched when the company directors had a bit of a tish, or just plain working myself to nearly death (literally) for the joy of being told I was 'not working hard enough', I finally seem to have landed a job at a nice small firm, that does quite interesting houses with fairly distinct character.

I would love to tell you where and whom, but I can't as most of our clients are stratospherically rich and don't like people knowing where they live unless it makes the cover of Domain on the SMH. That does give me pause for concern as traditionally I don't get on very well with people like that. We shall see.

Anyway, what does this have to do with Torment?

The Torment to which I refer is of course the best ever computer game*, Planescape: Torment. Based on the AD&D 'Planescape' setting, PS:T was made by Black Isle as an offshoot to the extremely popular Baldur's Gate series. PS:T used the same graphics engine to create one of the most stunningly well-crafted recreational computer games ever. It had plot; bucket-loads of it. You are immortal, but cannot remember who you are, expect that as the game progresses you find that you aren't... well, you're not what you think! It had characters; individuals so well written you didn't care if they sort of liked to set fire to things a lot, or had no body, or had thousands of bodies, or in fact were just living incarnations of the letter "O". Of the soundtrack, one piece stands out as one of the most hauntingly beautiful 1m 30s of music you will ever hear. The rest is still top-notch, if you like big doses of weird with your reality.

Apart from the reality-shaking philosophy behind PS:T, one of the things that I enjoyed was the art. The backgrounds are all beautiful mixtures of hand illustration and computer rendering, but what really stood out for me was the architecture of Sigil, the rather odd city where most of the action takes place. Sigil's buildings all take their design cues from the enigmatic being that seems to rule the city in an entirely nihilistic way - the Lady of Pain - who is described as a floating woman in a kimono with a head-dress made of knives. Nice. Hence Sigil's architecture is no place for birds to happily roost, as most buildings design is best described as 'sharp'.

Way way back in the day, when I was at uni I had a bit of a fancy for buildings that had a bit of danger and shall we say, aggressiveness to their design. My wildest designs were always curtailed or somewhat blunted before being submitted, though a few crept through. One was an Environmental Education Centre - that happened to look a lot like a B2 'Spirit' Stealth Bomber carrying a load of kitchen knives into battle. The second major 'sharp' design I did was my final project, an aircraft museum. Parts of the museum were made out of airliner tailfins and tailwings, and the large curving roofs had ribbed structures with big pointy eaves. More knives. So I sort of like knives on buildings, which must say something extremely important about me from a psychological point of view.

Torment, being full of buildings that I would have been proud to design, helped me keep the idea of deadly buildings alive.

The new job allows me design freedom. Quite a bit of design freedom. Nothing says 'beach house for stupidly rich client' to me quite like 'KNIVES' does. The first design I am working on is fairly quirky already, being one of the most expensive blocks of land in The Leviathan, overlooking one of the more expensive beaches on the planet, let alone the Antipodes, so of course the clients want "a medieval Italian hill-fortress". They have the money, I have the mouse, so off we go!

Just how many knives will work their way into this first design I am not sure, but don't worry, they will be there...

* Don't flame me too much, my list of 'Best ever...' also includes GPL, UT, Elite (C64), Gyruss (arcade), Beyond Good and Evil, Gran Turismo, GTA:VC and Gridrunner++, all of which are equal first. If I had to choose one though, it would be PS:T. And Elite.

An Attempt at Not Ranting.

I rant too much. I think I shall rant about this.

No! Every time I get to this situation I end up ranting. I think ranting is bad, as most people simply ignore it. Sure, I get extremely emotional about things, which is apparently bad, but there you go. Some people are great stockbroker, some people are artists. I rant. Such is life.


Take for instance Saturday night. I was watching 'Return of the King' on DVD, and a few things Gandalf said to Merry struck a chord with me. I fully intended to have a really good rant about that here, but by the time the film ended I had drunk 4 Gin & Tonics, 1 cup of Tea, 3 Baileys and eaten three very large chunks of Toblerone (thanks to Syn & Bear) so I was not in any state to rant.

When I woke up 12 hours later feeling somewhat rough at the edges, I could not remember what the rant was about, which really scared me. Is everything I get emotional about really so meaningless that 12 hours later I cannot remember what it was?

Answer? Well, yes, it appears so.

I cannot even think of anything to write after that statement, I have tried about six different sentences, all of which are glib, obvious, attention seeking drivel. This sentence bears a lot of the later.

What a pointless post that was / this is.

Note to smileys - don't think you have got away from a full broadside; I am just loading more grapeshot into the cannons of seething hatred I am readying for you.

Who makes this crap?

I want to do something simple enough right? Make some actually real scenery of Norfolk Island for Flight Simulator 2004, because the version supplied is crap (not even close to correct), and the various ones available online are also crap or made by people who have never been there.

So searching on Google gives me....the link above. WHAT CRAP! This map appears everywhere as the 'official' map of Norfolk Island. Even the CIA thinks this is what it looks like. OK Government & Military of the United States of America here is a REALLY BIG CLUE. Try looking for Osama on Norfolk Island - it is the perfect hiding place because you have NO IDEA what it even looks like! Do you have ANY IDEA what 'Cascades' actually IS? It must be the biggest joke on the island. GO THERE and have a look, or do some research, I'm not going to tell.

This is nearly as bad as smileys, which will be the topic of my next rant.

How to waste time.

64.28571428571429% of me is a huge nerd! How about you?

This costs The Economy MONEY you know! You are not out there being EXTREEEEEME and Productive! Every second you sit there dreaming of clouds, or early steam engines you are wasting precious MONEY! Why aren't you checking your stocks? Is your bank account getting the best interest rate today? Is your accountant busy thinking of ways to write off your entire LifeStyle(tm) as a tax claim? Buy! Spend! ACQUIRE! ACQUIRE! ACQUIRE!

Hmm. Yes.

Notes for People Who Have Nothing Better To Do Than Check Other People's Spelling: "extreeeeeme" is deliberately spelt that way for effect. It is not the correct way to spell "extreme".